


Dear Mom,

by waywardchilde



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, POV First Person, Sadness, letter format
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-28
Packaged: 2018-04-01 17:32:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4028650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardchilde/pseuds/waywardchilde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So here's a little sadness and angst I made. Hope you enjoy reading.</p>
<p>"Dear Mom,<br/>It’s been a while... I’ve changed so much, and you’d hate it. "</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Mom,

Dear Mom, 

It’s been a while... I’ve changed so much, and you’d hate it. 

Not a secret that Sam and I hunt really. 

I’m writing this for closure I guess. You’re not really gonna read this. No one is. 

Sammy is…he’s okay. I don’t really know anymore. We hide too much from each other to really communicate anymore. 

I know everything we’ve become today would break your heart. It might even right now. Who knows, you may be looking down watching over us. I would ask Cas but I don’t want to bother him. He’s busy with other angel stuff. 

But me… I’m as good as I’ll get. I call the bunker home, when it’s not the same as what I remember home being. I have my own room finally, your pictures on my desk, I make sure it is every day. 

So I have the Mark of Cain. Well had. 

It’s weird having a clear head. I’m not hell bent on killing Sam or Cas. 

I’ve been wanting to give Sam a hug and tell him I’m fine, but there’s no way to tell that I’m fine. This could all be a dream. The mark could still be there. I could accidentally kill Sam. 

I’ve also been wanting to call Cas. I honestly don’t want to kill him either, so I’ve driven all the way to Lawrence to visit you. It’s not like I can hurt you. 

I’m tired of hurting people I care about. I’ve beaten up Sam, I’ve beaten Cas half to death, I wasn’t there for Charlie when she needed it, I was a disappointment to dad, I’ve said things to Bobby that hurt him, and I’ve killed so many people. I guess I’ve also hurt you, because I hurt everybody I love. 

Dad went to hell for a son that went to hell about a year and a half later. Then brought on the apocalypse, died multiple times, was a demon (and I should have died because I became what needed to be killed), and somehow got that thing off my arm. 

I guess I’m just spieling about my own self-hatred now, and I don’t think that even hypothetical you would want to hear about it so this is my final good bye mom. 

Love, 

Dean


End file.
